You said it yourself. We should just live with it. We have no other choice but to suffer. What a twisted fate it is, you said.
You extinguished all the flames of hope in my heart with those words. You answered the silent questions that my troubled mind threw around. You were not going to do anything about it. You have made your choice. My heart sank deeper than where my feet were. I will shamelessly admit that I did not see it coming. Not from you. Not from someone who regarded me as his first love. Not from someone who admittedly declared that I was unforgettable. Not from someone who made me believe that he loved me.
But perceived love can be so deceiving. What was I thinking? Of course you would not. But still, not a day passes that you don’t remind me that I am something to you. That I am someone to you. Someone special. And I foolishly believe you every single time. A girl can dream. And I hate myself for that.
However, your premise ends there. It’s like you’re saying that your hands are tied. You’re saying to just let it be. Let this be. Just. Let you love me. Because from where you stand, that’s all you can do. And there is no coming any further.
But I deserve more. I deserve undivided love because undivided is what I can willingly give. Then maybe if you cannot regard me more than just a second choice, I don’t deserve you.
Or better yet, as this cup reminded me, I am awesome and you don’t fucking deserve me.
YOU BET I AM.
in love with fireworks 